The reality of healing.
(Don’t be hard on yourself)
Healing doesn’t mean waking up early every day feeling happy, making your own breakfast before hitting the gym, or enjoying yourself all the time. Healing is often a lonely journey, You’ll feel bored after cutting off toxic people. With no drama and stronger boundaries, not everyone is allowed in your life. It leaves you alone with yourself, forcing you to truly get to know who you are. But please, don’t be hard on yourself. I promise, once you get the chance to know yourself better and choose this, you’ll enjoy your own company and start attracting what’s good for you instead of what will only fill a temporary need.
You’ll attract a person, not a feeling.
Photo: Pinterest
What you’re about to read isn’t one of those things you hear in videos telling you how you’re supposed to feel.
It’s based on real human reflection and honest experiences from different perspectives. And there’s no fixed timeframe for each phase, it looks different for everyone, depending on things like how much resistance they’re holding onto.
This isn’t a rulebook or a guideline for how you should feel, but a glimpse into how you’ll probably feel along the way.
1. Letting go:
You start becoming more self-aware of their flaws, and you stop justifying their reactions. You slowly learn to detach.
For so many people, this is a very hard step, many get stuck here, keeping the door half-open, giving themselves false hope.
But once you let go completely, you’ve already done most of the work.
2. Blaming:
You begin to blame yourself, thinking, “Maybe they could have been different if I had acted differently. Maybe it was all my fault.”
But, honey, please accept: you’re obsessing more about their potential, not their reality.
3. Confrontation:
You start admitting it wasn’t your fault.
At the same time, you don’t deny that you missed a lot of red flags.
The only thing you were truly responsible for was your reactions, the ones that allowed their behavior or disrespect to continue.
Please accept this: it’s your first time living this life.
This pain will serve you later.
4. Knowing yourself:
If you choose the right path for your healing, you’ll distance yourself from people who are just there to fill the void of loneliness, and you’ll avoid rebounding, too.
At this stage, you start trying to know yourself better.
But life is not a movie: it becomes a little boring, especially when you’ve gotten used to feeling too much .. whether sadness or happiness during the relationship.
Suddenly, everything becomes quiet.
Your life starts to feel kind of boring, simply because you’re not familiar with this kind of peace yet.
5. Enjoying your own company:
When you distance yourself, the only person you truly get to know better is yourself.
You revisit old hobbies, discover new ones, find things you start to enjoy alone.. without even realizing it.
Slowly, you end up becoming more confident around people.
At this stage, you realize you really love yourself.
You start building healthy boundaries to protect the peace you’ve worked so hard for.
6. Becoming familiar with a quiet, peaceful life:
You gradually become a new, different person a better version of yourself:
• More stable in feelings
• More stable in decisions
• Someone who doesn’t rush or force things anymore.
7. Healing takes you to new places:
Slowly, you become emotionally available again, for yourself, and for others.
You feel your energy around people; some will even compliment you on it.
You are no longer a victim.
You’ve upgraded your standards. You’re not stuck.
You don’t let your past decide your future.
You’re ready to give and accept love, real consistent love this time.
You’ll fall for people who add value to your life, who bring peace and stability, not just fake butterflies.
and at the end off all that, you come out stronger than when you entered💓💓 truly worth it
I think stage 6 is such a nice part of healing, finally being able to enjoy life as it is. Not rushing, not looking for problems where there aren’t any. Just living and being at ease, may everybody get to experience the peace of truly living🫶🏽